Thanksgiving with the Bayers

Gave volume 40 to Michael and Janet Bayer when we hosted them and their family on Thanksgiving. In all, we had 22 people gathered around our ping pong table and various card tables. Everything went great and the Bayers also came over Friday. Dave brought his acoustic guitar and entertained for an hour or so. Kirsten’s nine month-old son Nickolas and Brenden and Becky’s daughter Delilah were born within two days of each other and were really cute. Nickolas climbed up to the stairs landing where I had plopped myself down and for an hour played with kids' stuff on the bottom two shalves of the bookcase, much to my delight. Michael is a big Richard Russo fan, and I told him he needed to read “That Old Cape Magic.” I told him I’d been on an Anne Tyler kick and in fact had just finished “Back When We Were Grownups.” Saturday night some of the young-ins had a few drinks at Mark O’s where Dave’s band Voodoo Chili often played. Before the Bayers moved to Vermont 15 years ago, we used to get together for most holidays, including Memorial Day and Labor Day picnics featuring laughter and political conversations that went on far into the night. Janet also liked to have a Kentucky Derby Party and serve mint juleps. Mike is a Marxist and sometimes I tell him he’s my mentor because of his savvy political analysis of current and historic events. While too independent-minded to be a party member, I see nothing invalid about the slogan, “Workers of the world, unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains.” Mike’s dad Eugene was a communist and when I once told him I was a Democratic socialist, he responded, “Oh, one of those half-ass socialists.” I dedicated volume 34, “The Age of Anxiety: Daily Life in the Calumet Region during the Postwar Years, 1945-1953” to “Old Lefties” like Mike’s parents. When Mike wrote a column for the “Daily World,” he offered to give me a subscription. I demurred, saying “After I retire.” How chickenshit was that. Mike has turned me on to such books as “Race Matters” by Cornell West and “What’s the Matter with Kansas?” by Thomas Frank. I mention Mike and Janet several times in the journal including going to a Gordon Lightfoot concert with them some years ago, seeing bluesman Duke Tomatoe perform at Leroy’s Hot Stuff, and playing marathon Risk games at their house with Fred and Julie Chary.

In the journal is this account of Thanksgiving 2007:

Thursday November 22: Made cherry cobbler (a tradition) and watched Packers-Lions before going celebrating Thanksgiving with the Bayers at (son) Brenden and Becky’s (in Valparaiso). Kirsten was missing because her husband hauled her off to be with his family in Pittsburgh). It was our first glimpse of baby Rhiannon. In Welsh mythology Rhiannon is a horse goddess, and it is the title of a Fleetwood Mac song sung by Stevie Nicks. Shannon just passed the Massachusetts bar exam; last spring we celebrated her law school graduation at a bistro where Brenden worked. Mike’s mother Selma, in her late 80s and looking younger every year, flew in from Cleveland. Mike just finished Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln and noted its similarity to Gore Vidal’s novel Lincoln. All ages played charades, including Selma and three year-old Eli. Two of mine were Jimmy Eat World (my favorite band) and “Finger Lickin’ Good” (the KFC slogan). In acting out “Hair Spray” I pointed to the top of my head and then pretended to squirt a champagne bottle.

The following year we got together at daughter Kirsten’s in St. Louis. I noted:

Wednesday November 26, 2008: (Granddaughter) Alissa arrived from MSU after I fell asleep, and we got off for St. Louis around 9:30. Traffic was light, and we crossed the Mississippi five hours later, passing by the Arch and Busch Stadium. Spent a delightful evening reminiscing with Kirsten and Ed, Mike and Janet, Shannon, 86 year-old Selma, Mike’s sister Terry and her husband Victor and daughter Maya. Toni went outside while Janet smoked but didn’t partake. Victor performs stand-up comedy, and Alissa accompanied him, Terry, and Selma to a club that had an open-mike night. He was reportedly pretty good and told of being from L.A. and having been a Rams fan before owner Georgia Frontiere moved the team to St. Louis. The St. Louis native and former nightclub singer’s sixth husband was Rams owner Carroll Rosenbloom, who drowned in 1979, leaving her in charge of the team. Hated by many Angelinos, she died earlier this year of breast cancer.

Thursday November 27: Had breakfast with Mike’s sister Terry and spry Selma, who doggedly attempted to pick up the tab even though she just had coffee and a roll. A high-power executive for an HMO, Terry is very rich but shares the wealth with the family, once taking everyone, for example, on a cruise. Got in laps at the pool. Alissa made use of the workout room. Munched on Kirsten’s snacks, including a concoction that included corn and sour cream. Both football games were blowouts, just as well because we had a great time talking, feasting, and playing Trivial Pursuit. Knew what the Tonight Show calls the segment where Jay Leno interviews people on the street (“Jaywalking’). Never watch Jay but recalled a spoof of the segment on Mad TV where Frank Caliendo plays him and attempts to interview Ozzie Osbourne. Had intended to play charades, but Trivial Pursuit dragged on even though we reduced the dice rolling. Maya talked to a friend in London on her laptop. They could even see each other. By sitting near a window she tapped into a neighbor’s wireless network.

Friday November 28: Made lutkies from leftover mashed potatoes; some people call them potato pancakes – our kids called them “luckies.” Added onions. Kirsten said they were the best part of breakfast, which featured luscious confections and an egg dish. Since Kirsten is due in February, we all wrote notes to be opened by her son on his first 18 birthdays. Brenden’s wife Becky is also with child, so he and his family were unable to make the trip to Missouri.

Back to the present. Got an email from Australian oral historian Alistair Thomson, to whom I sent a copy of Sam Barnett’s interview of me. I told him I hoped to see him at the International Oral History Association conference next summer in the Czech Republic. He wrote: “Great to read this James, wonderful - thanks for sending it on. Look forward to seeing you in Prague. Best wishes, al.” Librarian Jackie Cheairs liked my mention of her in volume 40. I wrote: “Twenty years ago, we were IUN intramural bowling teammates (sadly the league only lasted one year). Often Jackie struggled to break one hundred, but one night her left-handed shot bagged half-dozen strikes in a row. After each she gave a hearty chuckle. At game’s end she couldn’t believe she broke 200.”

I picked up “Daughters of Aquarius: Women of the Sixties Counterculture” by Gretchen Lemke-Santangelo for niece Alexandria’s Christmas present. Nephews Sean and Connor will get “Tycoon’s War” and “Sweet Thunder” respectively. The “Daughters” book contains some great psychedelic posters of women from the Haight-Ashbury days. The author writes that Hippie Women have been stereotyped as either earth mothers or love goddesses when the reality is much more complex. The most interesting chapter seems to be “Little Sisters.” Lemke-Santangelo writes: “Runaways, often cast as vulnerable, potential victims, were remarkably resilient, resourceful, and determined to secure and maintain their freedom and autonomy. In contrast, girls who were born into the counterculture often faced too many choices and longed for ‘normal’ parents, limits, and boundaries.” There seems to be pretty much stuff on sexuality and the broadening of choices, including lesbianism. Speaking of which, my Gay and Lesbian Steelworkers research partner, emailed: “You game for a visit to the region's gay bar? You've never met my partner -- we could have dinner and go over to EnCompass.” She also wanted to meet some of the activist women steelworkers I wrote about in TRACES magazine. Toni said I could invite her and her partner to spend the night.