Last Hurrah

“All we’re asking for
One more last hurrah”
Justin Currie of Del Amitri

Note: the above quote emulates how Jeff Manes opens his Post-Tribune “Salt” columns.

Two dozen Lanes and Okomskis (12 of each, including Joe, Lisa, Michele, and their families) gathered at Maple Place for one final weekend before the federal government comes in to return the property to nature. It seems such a waste to tear our place down, but it’s not like we didn’t know what was going to happen (eventually) when we purchased it. Except for one mattress losing air overnight everyone seemed relatively comfortable. Alissa arrived after a photo shoot for a Grand Rapids magazine. Earlier in the week she used Miranda as a shoe model. Dave put in a 16-hour day at East Chicago Central H.S., what with tennis practice and announcing the football game (a win over Hammond High), but showed up Saturday. The Michiganders brought Diamond, and I took the “old pea brain” to the Miller Village Apartments across County Line Road, where children flocked around and petted him after assurances that he did not bite. After meeting Diamond, Lisa and Fritz were sorry they didn’t bring their dog.

The weather cooperated, enabling many hours at the beach in the water (Lake Michigan is at its “warmest” this time of year) and roaming through the sand dunes. The youngsters also explored the woods around our house. Nickolas found a frog at a pond in the ravine, and other scavengers brought back rocks and bottles. My assignment was breakfast, dishes and restocking the refrigerator. Toni took care of most everything else. While Jackie shopped at the mall with Miranda, I showed the rest of her family the condo after stopping at Subway for Garrett’s fast food fix. They were fascinated by the nineteenth century quilt with the French erotica. Saturday was Demolition Derby night in Joliet, Illinois, something Tina did with her family as a child. Sophia, first up both Saturday and Sunday, conversed with me about her sports and school activities. The woman who took her class photographs grabbed kids heads and yanked them into place, she claimed, demonstrating with her hands and facial expressions. In fourth grade, Nickolas is studying Indiana History; I promised to send him issues of TRACES magazine. Since people wanted bricks from the garden box as mementoes, Toni got a chisel out to separate the cement used to hold them together. The weekend’s most popular games were Shooters (played with dice) and S.O.B. (a card game that rewards patience). Joey and I played pinochle against Toni and Philip featuring several wild hands. One time we called trump and only got three points in the play. In the first game we went set by a single point or would have won. In the second, trailing badly, we took all 12 tricks one hand and then pulled the game out when I got a run, even though Phil and Toni held me to 12 points after the meld (bidding 29, I only needed ten).

In addition to the many photo opportunities, Phil shot a video featuring everyone doing his or her thing for ten seconds, and the next person starting with the same pose as the predecessor. It was similar to 30 years ago when brother-in-law Sonny did a funny bit that I emulated about eating cheerios (one of Sonny’s arms is bigger than the other due to childhood polio). Reminiscing about previous visits, I told anecdotes about when Toni’s mother Blanche would visit. Once during a scavenger hunt, she sprinted up Maple Place and our driveway in a vain attempt to beat out Dean Bottorff. During the long goodbye Tori said that I was an awesome grandfather. The Lane Fantasy Football League draft is coming up shortly, and Anthony vowed to beat my ass. Everyone survived in apparent good health despite the poison ivy in the woods and numerous tumbles down the steps. We’re all meeting up for Labor Day weekend in 12 days at Fritz and Lisa’s in South Bend. It’s Notre Dame’s opening football game against state rival Purdue, and we may be tailgating beforehand. Toni’s sister Mary and Sonny will be flying in for the occasion.

“Rolling Stone” profiled rock legend Chuck Berry, whose classic hits include “Maybelline,” “Rock and Roll Music,” “Johnny B. Goode,” and “Roll Over Beethoven.” He spent three years in reform school for stealing a car and another three for bringing a 14 year-old Apache girl across state lines for immoral purposes. Sued for allegedly taking photos of women who were using the bathroom, Berry sang the praises of “My Ding-a Ling” (his only number one hit) even though music critics treat the 1972 novelty song as an embarrassment. In a “Simpsons” episode a kid starts to sing it in a talent show and the principal gets him off the stage after the first line. In “Cadillac Records” starring Adrien Brody as Leonard Chess (who gave his stable of Black recording artists flashy cars but insufficient royalties), Mos Def plays Chuck. Beyoncé is a spectacular Etta James. The 2008 movie pays tribute to Muddy Waters and Howlin’ Wolf as progenitors of rock ‘n’ roll. Berry had serious character flaws, but there’s no denying his musical genius.

Finished Updike’s “Terrorist.” Jewish guidance counselor Jack Levy talks Ahmad out of blowing up the Lincoln Tunnel. Started “Matterhorn,” which Ron Cohen loaned me. It has a vivid description of a lieutenant returning from his first patrol in the jungles of Vietnam and extracting leeches from his body.

There’s a fresh “Curb Your Enthusiasm” On Demand called “The Nanny from Hell.” In it Richard Lewis claims he invented the phrase “The Blank from Hell” (as in “the date from hell”). Thanks to that episode Lewis now is in the “Yale Book of Quotations.”

In the news: the government recalled a half billion eggs. Chief culprit Jack DeCoster is, to quote George du Maurier, a bad egg, a habitual violator of state and federal standards according to Food and Drug administrator Margaret Hamburg (what a name). In sports: White Sox finished a four-of-six road trip five games behind the Twins (Les Grobstein calls them the Twinkies on his SCORE overnight show). Cubs were atrocious against the Braves, who maintained a two-game lead over my Phillies, who won a weekend series from Washington on the strength of shutout performances by Roy Holladay and Roy Oswalt. In manager Lou Paniella’s final game, the Cubs succumbed 16-5, the identical score as their opening day loss to the Braves. Lou cried when he took off a baseball uniform for the final time, supposedly to care for his ailing 90 year-old mother. He got the Cubbies to the playoffs twice, but they went 0-6 thereafter. A class act, he deserved a better fate. For all the money G.M Jim Hendry wasted, Lou never had a good leadoff man.