When You Close Your Eyes

“I remember we learned about love
In the back of a Chevrolet
Well it felt so good to be young
Feels like yesterday.”
Night Ranger

Weird dreams, perhaps because I had heard Night Ranger’s “When You Close Your Eyes” right before bed – or maybe it was because I was subconsciously thinking up material for the Somewhat True Mystery of the Missing Tiara. LeeLee’s emails are jarring my memory of what she calls those “romantic never to be forgotten teenage years.” She complimented me of my good memory and said she “sort of remembered” Pam Tucker stealing Ricky Hoopes” away from her. Wonder what year that was? Pam was my first real girlfriend and a great kisser. Night Ranger’s Greatest Hits album used to be on heavy rotation in our house. “Sister Christian,” “You Can Still Rock in America,” and “Don’t Tell Me You Love Me” were big hits back when the boys were in high school. Once they went with me to a Sociology Party at Jack Bloom’s with Hans Rees and Jimmy Satkoski and we air-guitared to “Rock in America” at full volume until Jack came running. “You’re great, only not so loud,” he admonished. The chorus for “When You Close Your Eyes” repeats the back of the Chevy line, then goes, “No good for an old memory to mean so much today.” Nothing wrong to cherish old memories – in my case of the back of a 1956 Buick.

At lunch Sam Flint mentioned that SPEA (School of Public and Environmental Affairs) is looking to hire four new faculty for next year. I suggested that Lake County Sheriff Roy Dominguez, who is leaving office at the end of the year, would make an excellent adjunct lecturer. He agreed.

Oops. Got an email chastising me for putting a review on the blog that had not yet appeared in Choice magazine. Somehow the editor had come across it. I profusely apologized and expunged the sucker. The editor thanked me and said she appreciated my prompt action.

Ella Magee retired after 21 years as a custodian in the Library/Conference Center. At the reception Chancellor Lowe mentioned that his first official day on the job was exactly five months ago and said that Ella always beat him to work, had the lights on for him, kept his office neat and clean, and had a sunny disposition even though the sun wasn’t up yet. The Reverend Dwight Gardiner, formerly an IU Northwest police officer and later in charge of Physical Plant quoted Frederick Douglass and Malcolm X on the value of education and compared Ella to Janus, the Roman gate keeper, in keeping the university’s gate in sterling order.

Terry Helton is tired of being hassled on his job and hoping to survive the winter in Ennis, Montana. He hunts deer because the meat goes so well in his chili. Prostitution was legal in Montana until 1982 and brothels once lined both sides of the street in Terry’s neighborhood. He lamented, “Damn! Why couldn’t I have been here when all of this was going on?”

Nineteen year-old Missy Brush requested that we be Facebook friend. Big Voodoo Daddy and Marianne’s daughter, she posted a Halloween photo showing her in a long red wig, white gloves, and green mask, leotards, boots, and Neptune-type outfit. My grandson James is in one photo taken after a play performance in Hobart. She mentioned getting an amazing tattoo and promised pics “as soon as it stops scabbing. It looks kinda icky now.” She has 172 friends (many Andrean High School graduates), four of whom are mutual friends of yours truly (Angie, Dave, James and fellow ex-Voodoo Chili groupie Lorraine Todd-Shearer).

With LeeLee’s help I have brought the missing tiara tale to a resolution. I want the concluding chapter to be about everyone gathering at Wendy’s Georgia plantation. I’ll see how she and others think. Here’s the denouement: “Time flew by as LeeLee, Sissy, and the Captain drank by the fire and mellowed out. The three of them decided to call Jimmy, who had mentioned the tiara in his account of the reunion and had sat near Wendy both during the dinner and at breakfast the next day. He was delighted to hear from them and eagerly reminisced about old times. He retold the story of being center on the seventh grade football team and, playing without his glasses, hiking the ball in punt formation to the Captain rather than the kicker. Nonplussed, the Captain boomed a punt 40 yards down the field. Jimmy couldn’t resist mentioning seeing the Captain walk around in the men’s locker room in yellow silk underpants with tiger stripes. He also told about showing up for a party at LeeLee’s house a day early and her family nonchalantly inviting him in for dinner. The talk then turned to Molly. Jimmy recalled a marathon study session at Schady Acres for a Civics class final interrupted frequently by jokes about the teacher’s smelly cigar breath. He, Molly, and LeeLee sat together at a Biology class bench and would get each other giggling so openly that the teacher, Mr. Gebauer (Ga-boo-boo) threatened more than once to separate the ribald trio. Eventually the subject came back to the tiara. “Sounds like we might be talking about more than one,” Jimmy concluded. “Maybe you should call Wendy and get a description of the one she wore and whether it was the original.” All agreed that was a good idea, but the hour was late and the case would have to wait.

“With the snow continuing to fall, Sissy brought out sleeping bags, and they all fell asleep by the fire. In the middle of the night the Captain awoke with a start, still mulling over the facts of the case. When he closed his eyes, he imagined Wendy standing proudly with her classmates for the reunion group photo and decided that nobody in the room would have been so cruel as to have taken her tiara. A stranger must have done it. In the morning the Captain awoke to the sound of his cell phone ringing. A friend working security at the Philadelphia Airport informed him that four men had been arrested for pilfering luggage during the past few months. Perhaps the tiara might have been among the stolen valuables. The Captain hoped to interrogate the men and contact pawnshops where they might have taken their goods to sell. After Sissy served a very Vermont-like breakfast of fruit, yogurt, and granola, he called Wendy with the news and to get a better description of the tiara. She was delighted with the newest developments and invited all three down to her Georgia plantation. If the tiara was found and she was needed in Philadelphia, she could do that, too, after the holidays.

“What Wendy did not tell the Captain at this time was that she once had had three tiaras. The 1960 crown had indeed been with her for over 50 years and still resided in her China closet. Ten years ago, her husband had given her an expensive replica that she had worn at the reunion and was now missing. Her grandkids had bought a third for her sixty-fifth birthday, along with a Snow White wand, and insisted she wear it while she blew out 65 candles. She looked up, and all her granddaughters – her little princesses – were wearing tiaras. She had sent this tiara to Sissy in recognition that Molly was truly worthy of a crown. In fact, in the Homecoming Queen vote, Wendy was not the top vote-getter among seniors but received a plurality after the tallies of juniors and sophomores were counted. Younger sister Pam was also voted onto the court. Even though Wendy won fair and square, she thought Molly deserved belated recognition, too, but had felt self-conscious about taking credit for the gesture so did it anonymously.

“LeeLee and the Captain talked all the way back to North Hills. They relived reunion highlights – DJ Fred spinning golden oldies, David S and his wife showing off Arthur Murray dance moves, Jimmy and Phil organizing a stroll line, Barbara looking stunning in high heels and platinum blonde hair, Mary D doing Motown moves as her preacher husband looked on, the Captain himself accepting an invitation to slow dance with Marianne T. They talked about others besides Molly who had passed away – wild Bill McAfee and wilder Dick Garretson, Judy “Crazy” Otto and athletic Clara Rogers, beautiful Charmayne Staton and dour Charley Thomas. Characters all. LeeLee told Percy, as everyone knew him in school, about her husband Bob, a teacher who emigrated to the U.S. with his family from Ireland and wrote a memoir about his experiences, including being ridiculed when he went to a school in Detroit dressed in clothes that classmates found to be weird. Weirdness was something LeeLee and many of her classmates worried about back in that Fifties era of conformity. Was that something the Captain worried about as well, she wondered aloud. He replied that what he and his buddies most feared were racist cops. Away from North Hills one had to be on the alert because you never knew, he said, if a cracker might be lurking down the road. With that, the Captain gave out a hearty cackle to ease the tension. Before the two parted company LeeLee couldn’t resist asking the Captain if he still wore outlandish jockey shorts. With a wink he replied, “It all depends on what you mean by outlandish.” He promised to keep her abreast of new developments in the case of the missing tiara.

“It didn’t take the Captain long to break the case. The second pawnshop he visited had a tiara. The owner recalled, “When a guy brought it to me, I about laughed him out of the shop. It looked like something you’d buy at a dollar store.” The gems really sparkled though, so the owner took a chance and offered 25 dollars. The hunch paid off, and the tiara was appraised at ten times that amount based on the stones alone. The owner had been tempted to take the tiara apart but decided to wait a couple months. What luck! The Captain took several photos, gave the manager a down payment to put a hold on it, and called Wendy with the good news. Thanks to the electronic wonders of the Internet, Wendy quickly confirmed that it was a perfect match. She wired the captain a money order to compensate him for his time and trouble and to purchase the tiara and reiterated that she’d cooperate with the authorities to punish the thieves if they needed her. Then she made one more pitch for the Captain to deliver the tiara in person. “Bring LeeLee and Sissy and anyone else you want, I’ll have a limo waiting at the airport to drive you to my estate. In fact, I’ll invite everyone in our class who wants to come for a party. I have plenty of room. After all, I live on a plantation.” The Captain said he’d think it over. When he called LeeLee to tell her that the case was solved and mentioned Wendy’s offer, she said, “Why not?”

Bowled mediocre – plenty of strikes but too many splits – but won two of the quarter pots for tenth strike and ended the night converting a 3, 6, 7, 10 split. Engineers won a game and 83 year-old captain Bill Batalis was great. Talked with a fellow named Brian Pleasant (isn’t that a pleasant name?), who was on Phil’s Portage soccer team. On TV Purdue beat Virginia Tech, which made my teammates happy, but IU lost its first basketball game of the season to Boston College, finally facing a decent team in the Big Ten/ACC Challenge.