Thursday, March 8, 2018

Conflict Is Not Abuse

“We live in a culture of under-reaction to abuse and overreaction to conflict.” Sarah Schulman, “Conflict Is Not Abuse”
Lesbian activist Sarah Schulman, whose “Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty to Repair” is this year’s “One Book … One Campus … One Community” selection, spoke at IUN’s Bergland Auditorium.  One reviewer labeled the book “a searing rejection of the cultural phenomenon of blame, cruelty, and scapegoating, and how those in positions of power exacerbate and manipulate fear of the ‘other’ to achieve their goals.”  Schulman regards power struggles between individuals and groups as a normal part of life, whereas what constitutes abuse is a lopsided power relationship where a person or group attempts to dominate another.  Literary Hub critic Adam Fitzgerald wrote this assessment of “Conflict Is Not Abuse":
      The many coordinates of the writer’s life as academic student and teacher, domestic abuse counselor, and AIDS activist come powerfully together in a truly eccentric work of nonfiction and analysis. The book sets out to trace how individuals have internalized the reliance on the police state, both knowingly and unknowingly, to settle their disputes. Conflict and disputation are natural, if uncomfortable occurrences in intimate life, and Schulman argues that we should resist the assumption that violence is inherent to disagreement. The supremacy structures of American society, of which relying on the police is a part, have been shown time and time again to be structurally opposed to the interests of queer, black, and feminist interests. 
Schulman has written 10 novels about gay and lesbian life, including “After Delores” (1988) and “The Cosmopolitans” (2016), as well as such serious works of nonfiction as “Ties That Bind: Familial Homophobia and Its Consequences” (2009) and “The Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Imagination” (2012), about the vanishing of rebellious queer culture in New York City during the AIDS years of the 1980s.

Schulman was particularly insightful answering questions fielded by moderator Gabrielle Jaimes, a Student Government representative, although, to my disappointment, none dealt with dating or student-teacher relationships.  Students, I’ve found, tend to shy away from talking about sex in class or a public forum.  As I left the Bergland Auditorium, I learned that I had won a copy of next year’s One Book … One Campus … One Community” selection, Mary beard’s “Women and Power: A Manifesato” (2017).  Running less than 100 pages, it begins: “Women in the West have a lot to celebrate: let’s not forget.”  The reception buffet was so good, in particular the stuffed mushrooms and mini-chocolate eclairs, I skipped dinner. 

At the Oscars, Eddie Vedder sang Tom Petty’s “Room at the Top” during the “In Memoriam” tribute to such late, great Hollywood notables as Harry Dean Stanton, Martin Landau, Roger Moore, Jeanne Moreau, and Jerry Lewis. Many celebrities shunned Ryan Seacrist, host of “Live from the Red Carpet,” because a dismissed stylist complained that he had poked her with an erect penis while in his underwear and slapped her ass.  Casey Affleck, the previous year’s winner of  Best Actor for his role in “Manchester by the Sea,” withdrew from handing out the Best Actress award due to having been accused of sexual harassment in 2010, charges which he denied.  At the Governors Ball, a gate crasher grabbed Frances McDormand’s Best Actress award, posted a selfie holding it aloft, and then got arrested trying to abscond with it.
 Solly Joe Hemus in 1953
According to Sridhar Pappu’s “The Year of the Pitcher,” in 1960 Bob Gibson believed that Cardinals skipper Solly Joe Hemus was a racist and partly responsible for him pitching so poorly during his rookie season: he issued more than 5 walks every nine innings and finishing the season with an inflated 5.61 ERA.  A scrappy former infielder, Hemus, like many “old-school” managers, was demanding and overbearing, especially toward rookies.  He excluded Gibson from meetings with St. Louis starting pitchers and in the heat of battle called Pirate pitcher Bennie Daniels a black bastard. Hemus supposedly told Gibson and teammate Curt Flood (whose batting average slumped to .237 in 1960) that they were not good enough to succeed in the Majors.  During the three years (1956-1958) that I followed Hemus’ playing career with the Phillies, he was a fiery competitor frequently ejected from games, who’d stand close to the plate daring pitchers to hit him and often foul off good pitches until he had worked a base on balls.  Solly Joe’s successor Johnny Keane got dramatically better results from Gibson by using positive reinforcement.
In an episode of “Divorce” titled “Alone Again, Naturally,” gallery owner Frances (Sarah Jessica Parker) angers her dingbat best friend and learns that ex-husband Robert is planning to remarry and wants to take the kids to Italy for two months.  Finally reconciled with these developments and prepared to go on with her life, she bounces up and down on a trampoline as season two comes to an end, a vast improvement over season one.  In another HBO series, “Crashing,” nerdy comedian Pete Holmes reluctantly enters a Roast contest and ends up pitted against his girlfriend Allie.  Although he gives as good as he gets, when he tells Allie he is hurt by what she said, she leaves him in disgust.  The season ends pretty much as it began, with Pete sleeping on comedian Artie Lange’s couch.

In bridge Dee Van Bebber and I finished a half-point behind co-first place winners Chuck and Marcy Tomes and Rich and Sally Wills.  The difference came on the very first hand of the evening when Chuck opened a Diamond and Bee bid 1 No Trump.  Because we normally play a transfer convention, I bid two Hearts because I had 6 Spades, not realizing that the transfer rule is not applicable if an opponent bid.  Dee raised to 3 Hearts and I got set.  Lesson learned.
 "Favorite Games" by Rine Boyer, acrylic on aluminum

NWI Times photo by Tony Martin
John Cain’s twenty-fourth annual Holiday Reading at Munster Center for the Performing and Visual Arts, delayed four months due to eye surgery, was well worth the wait.  Beforehand, a gallery reception featured sculptures by Eric Tucker (an IUN grad and instructor at South Suburban College) and hand-made, mixed media figures by artist Rine Boyer that reminded me of woodcuts Toni has done of family members, including her grandparents, proud Polish-American immigrants.  She agreed.  Boyer’s portraitures contained tiny symbolic images such as unicorns, wine bottles, puppies, and puzzles all over their bodies.
 IUN Dean Mark Sperling
At the IUN table was Mark Sperling, Dean of Education, previously principal and then school superintendent in Merrillville.  I told him about once being asked by acting Education Dean Bill May, whom he had known, to teach a Social Studies methods course two weeks before the start of the semester when a professor suddenly quit.  He was desperate, so I offered to do it if he allocated an extra $3,000 so I could invite a dozen high school teachers as guest lectures.  He agreed and the students loved it.  Some were friends whom I knew to be outstanding classroom teachers, such as Jim Spicer.  Others, including Bruce Sawochka, had been students of mine.  Sitting to my right was Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs Alexis Montevirgen, who I’d often seen at events but never talked with other than to say hello.  Having attended Sarah Schulman’s talk the previous day, he expressed surprise that it was so political.  For one thing, she really slammed Vice President Mike Pence. I told Montevirgen I thought it could have been more geared to students’ lives.
 Jim West and John Cain, NWI Times photo by Tony Martin

Before a full house, Cain spoke about his favorite subject, writer Truman Capote, whom he resembles in looks, speech, and demeanor.  He and an old college friend, Jim West, read a segment from Melanie Benjamin’s “The Swans of Fifth Avenue” (2016), dealing with “Answered Prayers,” Capote’s unfinished “nonfiction novel” about New York City socialites who had included him in their inner circle and whom he dubbed as his swans.  When an installment titled “La Cote Basque” appeared in Esquire in November 1975, his former friends, including Babe Paley and Slim Keith, ostracized him, outraged that he portrayed them as malicious gossips and aired their foibles and dirty laundry. Surprised by their unrelenting hostility, Capote turned increasingly to drink and drugs and never again completed a book, including “Answered Prayers.”  Though a somber tale, Cain managed to inject both humor and pathos into the presentation.

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