Behind That Curtain

“Mind, like parachute, only function when open,” Charlie Chan

Ron Cohen loaned me Yunte Huang’s “Charlie Chan: The Untold Story of the Honorable Detective and His Rendezvous with American History” (2010).  Charlie Chan was an American original, a film stereotype both demeaning and admirable. Huang concluded: “Charlie Chan, America’s most identifiable Chinaman, epitomizes both the racist heritage and the creative genius of this nation’s culture.”  He continued:

Anyone who believes that Chan is Chinese would also probably believe that the fortune cookie is a Chinese invention.  He may have slanted eyes, a chubby and inscrutable face, and a dark goatee, but he prefers Western suits and wears a Panama hat.  Chan is voluble and enjoys spouting fortune-cookie witticisms that are alternatively befuddling and enlightening.  This is the strength of his character: his beguiling charm, his Confucian analects turned into singsong Chinatown blues.

In an Appendix are a list of, in Huang’s words, “Charlie Chanisms,”some profound, others enigmatic, often uttered in films (there were 44 in all, the most starring Swede Warner Oland) in pidgin English like heard in Hawaii.  Here's a sample:

* Biggest mistake in history made by people who didn’t think.

* Caution is good life insurance.

* No poison deadlier than ink.

* The wise elephant does not seek to ape the butterfly.

* Wrong pew perhaps, but maybe correct church.

* Death is the black camel that kneels at every gate.

What I found particularly fascinating in "Charlie Chan" was learning about real-life Honolulu detective Chang Apana, on whom the novels of Earl Derr Biggers were based, including “Behind That Curtain” (1928).  Apana’s father arrived in Hawaii as a coolie contract-laborer destined for a sugarcane plantation.  It was Chinese sugar masters  (tong see) who first harvested sugar from Hawaiian canes, which rescued the island kingdom’s economy after the collapse of the sandalwood trade and led to the importation of tens of thousands of Asian laborers. The talented Apana rose to become a paniola (cowboy) on the Parker Ranch on Hawaii’s “Big Island” and around the age of 20 was hired as a stableman for the Samuel Wilder estate in Honolulu.  Wilder’s daughter Helen founded a chapter of the Humane Society and hired Chang Apana to investigate cases of cruelty toward animals.  Thus his legendary career as a bullwhip-toting law enforcement officer commenced.

 Chang Apana

“In the hierarchical world of late-nineteenth-century Hawaii,” Huang concluded, “an uneducated yellow man like Chang Apana would not have stood a ‘Chinaman’s chance’ without luck or help.” Apana benefitted from his relationship to feudal barons (the Parkers and Wilders), a group that dominated Hawaii’s politics and economy. In colonial societies, Huang asserted, bonds between servant and master were often more reciprocal than in under capitalism. Thus, in his words, “the feisty and compassionate Helen Wilder gave Apana, a humble coolie’s son and an illiterate Chinaman who spoke broken English, a chance to show what he was truly made of.”

Through Jack London’s colorful character Koolau the Leper in “The House of Pride and Other Tales of Hawaii” (1912) Huang conveys how haole(white) ministers and traders and their predatory ancestors gained an iron grip on power in the Pacific paradise, often through intermarriage with King Kamehameha’s progeny:

They came like lambs, speaking softly. Well might they speak softly, for we were many and strong, and all the islands were ours.  As I say, they spoke softly.  They were of two kinds.  The one kind asked our permission, our gracious permission, to preach to us the word of God.  The other kind asked our permission, our gracious permission, to trade with us. That was the beginning.  Today all the islands are theirs, all the land, all the cattle – everything is theirs.

 Miranda at La Rambla, Barcelona, and in Valencia with Carly, Alissa and Josh

Miranda and Carly stopped in Barcelona after visiting Alissa and Josh in Valencia.  Toni and I were there ten years ago with the Migoskis and Hagelbergs for a Mediterranean cruise. In a room adjacent to the hotel lobby on our final day someone snatched Toni’s purse that contained our passports, but she shouted an alarm and followed in quick pursuit.  The thief tossed it away to avoid capture, and a passerby told Toni where to retrieve it. Close call!  We had been warned of pickpockets hanging out at La Rambla, Barcelona’s colorful promenade, but these thieves were brazen indeed.

 Quinn Buckner

Former IU basketball star Quinn Buckner, who led the Hoosiers to an undefeated season and the 1976 NCAA championship, is on the Board of Trustees and will attend a reception on our campus.  It’s on the day before Dave and I fly to Finland, but I need to print out our boarding passes that evening anyway.  Trustee Philip Eskew, a former football and track star at DePauw University and distinguished physician, responded to receivingSteel Shavings,volume 47, with this note: “You continue to amaze me, what a terrific collection of thoughts and observations.  Capturing the history of the Region is invaluable and I salute you for your effort.” 

The final question on Jeopardy was confusing.  The category was U.S. Quotes, and the clue stated: In a 1789 letter, Benjamin Franklin relates the durability of the new Constitution to these 2 things.”  I guessed checks and balances, but the answer was death and taxes.  Franklin’s 1789 statement to French scientist Jean-Baptiste Le Roy reads, “Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” Hardly a case of cause and effect.  No wonder nobody knew the answer.

Hearing about Ron Cohen and my new edition of “Gary: A Pictorial History,” Naomi Millender made a pitch to include a photo by Korey Caroll depicting a Gary historic tour that took place on June 19, 2017.  The brainchild of VISTA workers Sam Salvesen and Alex Koerner and sponsored by the Gary Redevelopment Department,  what some nicknamed the Gary Ruins tour commenced at the original Gary Land Company Building.  The goal is to turn City Methodist Church and other vacant properties into tourist sites and urban gardens.  Members of the Gary Historical and Cultural Society, including Naomi Millender, greeted participants. I was nearby at an IUN booth manned by Diversity director James Wallace giving away Steel Shavings.  Dolly Millender (Naomi’s mother), founder of the Gary Historical and Cultural Society, was on the cover.

Kirsten Bayer-Petras wondered why “Whiter Shade of Pale” isn’t on other band’s cover lists. Matthew Petras responded : “The old Hammond organs are too large and expensive.”  Jessica Black Smith quipped: “Because too many of us would be in bed by the time it ends.” I wrote: “Nice to see it honored at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony - one of my favorite songs. Heard Procol Harum organist Matthew Fisher sing it at a Ringo Starr Revue at the Holiday Star.”

 Alison Fiori with llama on "Let's Make a Deal"

The phrase “Behind that curtain” brings to mind the popular game show “Let’s Make a Deal” with host Monty Hall that aired continuously for 14 years beginning in 1963.  Contestants could choose one of three curtains and receive whatever was behind it.  At least one was a gag gift, such as a live llama.  Studio audience members dressed in outlandish costumes hoping to be chosen as contestants.  Prize winners commonly broke into ecstatic expressions of joy, often hugging, humping, and kissing Monty full on the mouth, sometimes with tongue.

cartoon from Jim Spicer

Paul Kern called from Florida to talk about IUN doings and said that wife Julie was stressing out over bridge.  Her club plays the same pre-dealt hands as hundreds of others, enabling comparisons with large samples rather than just those played face-to-face.  I’m happy we don’t do it that way at Chesterton.  According to Bridge Bulletin,I have accumulated 12.27 master points and am a Junior Master; I need 7.73 more to become a Club Master and 487.73 to be a Life Master. The magazine printed this pompous remark by Theo Lichtenstein of Tallahassee: “In order for a person to earn the title of LIfe Master, a player should have to earn at least one platinum point.  If that is too hard, then maybe these players don’t deserve to be called Life Masters.”Competing just once a week and only locally, I have no desire to join that exalted rank, rest assured Mr. Lichtenstein. Some people take the game too seriously.

When I arriving at Chesterton YMCA for bridge, I noticed that a crowd had gathered inside the front door.  My partner Dee had fainted.  Chuck Tomes was on the phone to her daughter and YMCA officials had called 911.  With extremely low blood pressure, Dee is subject to fainting spells.  Revived with the help of a wet towel, she insisted on staying.  A half-dozen EMTs thoroughly checked her vital signs and then left.  With five full tables, we proceeded to play nine rounds.  Marcia Carson mentioned fainting right after a youth baseball game that Jim was coaching, and he admitted to completing his postgame speech while a friend in the stands tended to Marcia.  One time Toni got numerous planters warts on her hand removed and insisted that she was fine when the doctor wanted suggesting leaving some for a future visit.  When he finished freezing all of them, she would have fallen to the floor had someone not caught her.

Former Math teacher Chuck Tomes provided some interesting facts to Barb Walczyk for her bridge Newsletter that compared playing cards to a calendar:

*There are 52 weeks in the year and so are there 52 playing cards in a deck. 

*There are 13 weeks in each season, and thus there are 13 cards in each suit. 

*There are 4 seasons in a year and 4 suits in the deck. 

 *There are 12 months in a year, so there are 12 court cards — those with   faces, namely jack, queen, king in each suit — 3 cards each in 4 suits. 

          *The red cards represent the day, while the black cards represent the night. 

 *The spades indicate plowing/working. 

 *The hearts indicate loving thy crops. 

 *The clubs indicate flourishing and growth. 

 *The diamonds indicate reaping the wealth. 

 Mayor Jim Kenney and Eagle Jason Kelce dressed like mummer at Super Bowl celebration

Trump abruptly cancelled a White House visit by the Superbowl champion Philadelphia Eagles after getting wind that a dwindling number of players planned to show up.  He accused them of disrespecting the American flag even though not a single Eagle took a knee nor remained in the locker room during the National Anthem all season.  Fox network showed Eagles kneeling without revealing that they were praying and it not during the playing of the “Star Spangled Banner.” Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney stated that disinviting the players “only proves that our President is not a true patriot, but a fragile egomaniac obsessed with crowd size and afraid of the embarrassment of throwing a party to which no one wants to attend.” Referencing Samuel Johnson’s 1775 assertion that “patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel,” Ray Smock wrote: “Trump is the latest in a long line of “pretended patriots” who uses patriotism not for pride of country and time-honored tradition that unites the American people, but as a weapon to smite his enemies.”

 Max Blaszkiewicz at RFK gravesite

Margaret Gallagher

Bobby Kennedy passed away 50 years ago.  I was asleep when an assassin shot him in California after he won the primary that would have assured him the Democratic Presidential nomination.  How different America’s destiny would have been but for that senseless murder.  Robert Blaszkiewicz posted photos from a 2016 family visit to Kennedy’s gravesite at Arlington National Cemetery.  His mother, Margaret “Maggie” Gallagher, commented: “On this day 50 years ago, I was very pregnant and waiting the birth of my first child, my husband was in the service, so we agreed that if we had a son he would be named after RFK . So that is how Robert got his name.”  Dave, Phil, and Robert became good friends in high school. After the 2000 home invasion Maggie, a hair stylist, cut Dave and my hair, Dave’s by necessity and mine to match.  In my “Survival Journal” published in Steel Shavings,volume 33 (2002) I wrote:

    Got a brush cut from Maggie, who did wonders with Dave after one of the home invaders idiotically chopped off chunks of his hair.  The shorter hair brushed back is my first new look in more than 20 years.  Lots of gray hair came off.  My head felt cleansed. In high school Phil, Dave, and Robert went on a class trip to Mexico accompanied by Robert’s cool grandmother. who was born there.