Sharp Dressed

“Black shades, white gloves,

Lookin’ sharp, lookin’ for love.

They come runnin’ just as fast as they can

‘cause every girl crazy ‘bout a sharp dressed man.”

         “Sharp Dressed Man,” ZZTop

Miranda's post: officially won "most over-dressed" 

For Phil, Robert Blaszkiewicz, and Jimmy Satkoski’s fiftieth birthday celebration, young women were dressed up to the nines while most guys opted for casual.  Our upstairs bathroom that afternoon smelled like a beauty salon, not that I’m complaining. Both Dave and I wore Helsinki t-shirts. It was perfect weather, and I spent much of the evening outside on the Shorewood clubhouse porch, where a nearby band played Jimmy Buffet and the Grateful Dead and fireworks periodically went off from several directions.  I talked to the Bayers about Dave and my Helsinki stay with Mike’s brother Joe and wife Jaana.  John English told me he was a high school exchange student in Tampere, Finland.  Two security guards observed teenagers playing cornhole and appeared to sniff their drinks to ascertain if they contained alcohol.  Dave and Jimmy Satkoski joked that had it been them at that age, the answer probably would have been yes. Dave welcomed them and by evening’s end they were eating birthday cake.

 Bayer family

Josh Leffingwell and Lane gang

Lisa and Fritz Teuscher with Phil

sharp dressed men; photos by Alissa Lane

Once karaoke got underway with Dave as m.c., things inside got lively, starting with Andrew English doing “Sweet Caroline.” Kirsten’s nine-year-old son Nick requested Imagine Dragons.  Miranda and Tori did a rousing Chainsmokers number that got everyone up dancing, and Dave persuaded former LINT bandmates Jimmy Satkoski and Hans Rees to harmonize on a couple REM songs.  Spotting Tom and Darcy Wade getting ready to leave, Dave put on ZZTop’s “Sharp Dressed Man” and Tom, Dave, Phil, and I did our by-now polished routine where we pretend to be playing guitars in sync.  A high point was Phil doing Clarence “Frogman” Henry’s “Ain’t Got No Home” and “My Chaw,” with lyrics he made up in high school to the tune of “My Guy.” His sisters dragged Anthony out onto the dance floor, but once there, he was a hit with the girls.  Afterwards, Toni brought home so much pizza that I’ll be having it for lunch all week and then some.  On Saturday I had made bacon and blueberry pancakes for our houseguests. On Sunday Toni cooked omelets.

Nephew Beamer and family drove in from Tremont, Maryland for the occasion, and at Chesterton’s European Market seven-year-old Nick observed a man make clever balloon creations. Beamer introduced us to the board game Gravwell, which we liked so much we played twice, with Phil winning each time.  Gravwell publisher Cryptozoic Entertainment provided this overview:

After being pulled through a black hole, four spaceships find themselves in a dimension with physics never before encountered and without fuel. By mining and collecting basic elements from the space dust and asteroids in the area, you can muster just enough thrust to move your ship. But in this bizarre dimension, gravity is not working like how you’ve been taught. Your ship will typically travel towards the nearest object… which is usually another ship… and those ships are moving. Sometimes forwards, and sometimes backwards. It’s a real mind—bender!

Cubs took 2 of 3 from Cincinnati to complete a 7-1 home stand.  In the rubber game, Jason Heywood, my favorite player, scored the lead run from first on a single by Javier Baez, something I hadn’t seen since a mad dash by Jose Cardenal during the 1970s.  Heywood had taken off for second on a hit and run and scampered home when the centerfielder took his time getting the ball back to the infield.

 Curtis Hill

Indiana lawmakers, led by Governor Eric Holcomb, are urging Republican attorney-general Curtis Hill to resign after four women accused the African American of groping them on March 15 while drunk at a party celebrating the conclusion of the legislative session.  He allegedly gave one a back rub, hugged another, slid his hand down one’s back under her clothes, and grabbed a fourth’s buttocks. The former Elkhart County prosecutor denies the accusations.  If reports of the egregious behavior are true, one wonders why colleagues did not intervene before things went so far.  Could it be because of his race?  In 2016 Hill garnered more votes than any office holder in Indiana history. Perhaps some Republicans viewed him as a threat and welcomed his comeuppance.

I dropped off my latest Steel Shavingsat Jackie Gipson’s house.  She was pleased to see Mayor Hatcher on the cover. Jackie had a house full, as her sister’s family and relatives from Atlanta were visiting.  I stumbled descending the porch steps, my right knee still weak from dancing to “Sharp dressed Man.”  I think Dave played a long version, and, of course, I stuck with it to the very end.

I invited Dave Serynek to be my book club guest and told him to arrive early if he wanted free bar food.  Gino’s did not disappoint, serving sausage with fried onions. A record crowd turned out to hear Rich Miroc talk about Chief Justice John Marshall.  I restricted my remarks to defending Jefferson for regarding Justice Samuel Chase as a threat to free speech and Aaron Burr as a scoundrel up to no good after killing Andrew Hamilton in a duel and heading west with several dozen armed filibusterers.  I introduced Dave to Roy Dominguez, Lorenzo Arredondo, and Brian and Connie Barnes; he enjoyed himself so much he added his name to Joy Anderson’s email address list.