“I’ve been waiting my whole life to f--- up like this,” John
Converse in Robert Stone’s “Dog Soldiers”
Robert Stone, whose novel “Dog Soldiers” captured the
moral debasement of America’s participation in the Vietnam War, wrote an
excellent memoir entitled “Prime Green: Remembering the Sixties.” A buddy of Merry Prankster Ken Kesey and
author of the 1968 novel “Hall of Mirrors,” he portrays the 1960s as a
tremendously exciting time and bemoans the gradual corruption of the hippie
dream, concluding, “Measuring ourselves
against the masters of the present, we regret nothing except our failure to
prevail.”
Karren Lee, President of the Miller Beach Arts and
Creative District, sent out a letter that began, “On the morning after a very painful evening at the Marquette Park
Pavilion on watching Ed Asner labor to perform his one-man show ‘FDR,’ I woke
up feeling very proud to be a part of this community.” She went on to say that when Asner struggled
to remember lines and admitted confusion, “you
could feel all the love and support flowing toward the stage from every one of
the 360 devoted fans in attendance.” As EMTs were helping Asner off the
stage, the audience gave him a standing ovation when he said, “I’ll be
back.” Not one person asked for a refund. Karren ended by including a note she sent to
Ed, wishing him a speedy recovery and telling him, “You will always hold a very special place in the hearts of this small
community of Miller Beach and the city of Gary, IN.” I told her that her letter brought a tear to
my eye and was a lovely expression of pride in Millerites whose actions
exemplified the heart and soul of what is an amazing community.
IUN’s library closes at five during Spring Break, but a
campus policeman said I could stay till 5:30 (it being bowling night) if I
called when leaving so an alarm could be set. At 5:15 I was in a third floor
bathroom stall when the lights suddenly went out. Despite the utter darkness I found my way to
the door and lived to write about it. It
reminded me of a time about ten years ago when some asshole turned the lights
out on me while I was on the john. At
Cressmoor Lanes Dick Maloney told me that retired teacher Tom Croll was in the
hospital. We three had lunch last year
at Country Lounge. Last week at Reiner
Center Croll attended my talk on Vivian Carter.
At first I forgot who he was.
On Facebook I posted this message: “I’ll be in Palm
Springs from March 21 until March 25.
Let me know if you’ll be in the ‘neighborhood.’” I got likes from Miranda, Darcey, Jonathan
Rix, and five others but no takers.
Steve Pickert replied, “You missed
me by three weeks.” Janet Bayer
said, “I’ll be in Long Beach.” Marianne Brush lamented, “Wish I was in the neighborhood!!!”
Dean Bottorff advised, “Don’t get
a sunburn.”
I watched “Animal House” for the first time since its
release in 1978 and found it funny in parts but not when John Belushi was doing
his Blutarsky bits. I didn’t recognize
Kevin Bacon but Donald Sutherland was perfectly cast as the lecherous, weed-smoking
Professor Jennings. I had forgotten how
many bare breasts (referred to by frat boys as yabbos and gazongas, among other
things) and sexual references there were in it.
While giving a hand-job to one of the meanies, sorority bimbo Babs says,
“Greg, honey, is it supposed to be this
soft?” During the credits we learn what supposedly happened to the
character. Greg goes to jail due to his
role in Watergate and gets raped, while the crypto-Nazi Neidermeyer gets
fragged by his men in Vietnam. The film
is set in 1962, which coincides with my “animal house” days in Sigma Phi
Epsilon at Bucknell.
Bucknell President John C. Bravman sent out a group email
to alumni after the Bisons secured an NCAA bid by defeating Patriot League
rival Lafayette (located in Easton, PA, across the street where I lived during
my first six years; Homecoming parades passed by our house at High and
McCartney streets). Valpo will also be at
the Big Dance, having beaten Horizon League opponent Wright State.
The College of Cardinals selected an Argentinian, Jorge
Mario Bergoglio, to be the next pope. He
took the name Francis to honor thirteenth century friend-of-the-poor Francis of
Assisi and fellow Jesuit Francis Xavier.
Letterman’s Top Ten list of rejected pope names included Kim Jong Pope
and Francis Ford Coppola. I had the TV on mute listening to the Flaming
Lips. Blues Cruise added their song “She
Don’t Use Jelly” to their playlist. Also
on Letterman plugging “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone” was Jim Carrey wearing enormous
bare feet. He was a riot dancing in
them.
I have been picking up snatches of information from a DVD lecture series on quantum mechanics by physicist Benjamin Schumacher that Tom
Wade loaned Toni. Most of the universe
is taken up by mysterious dark matter. “Quantum” means the minimum amount of
any entity involved in an interaction. A
photon is a quantum of light. “Quantum leap” is an electron changing from one
quantum state or energy level to another within an atom.
Jeff Manes dropped off a CD of his documentary: “Everglades
of the North: The Grand Kankakee Marsh.”
His Post-Trib column yesterday
was on Fred Gorniak, who couldn’t talk due to throat cancer and wrote answers
on an erasable board. Multiple sclerosis
has also left him unable to walk. He tries to keep a positive outlook and told
Jeff, “I always remember someone out
there has it worse than me.”
Nephew Bob Lane asked me to critique his ad for the new
Burger Lounge Elk Burger and sent an illustration for it and the new B.U.B.
(Big Umami Burger) consisting of “two six ounce beef patties, bacon, beer cheddar, minced onions,
pickles, mustard, house ketchup, served tall with a middle bun.” Bob asks, “Think
you can take down more than one?”
Doubt if I could get that monster in my mouth. Never having heard the word Umami before, I
discovered it’s of Japanese origin and means savory, something that makes one
salivate.
Burger Lounger B.U.B. (Big Umami Burger)
Frederic Cousseau passed along a funny YouTube
video cartoon entitled “Greetings from Gary” by rapper Freddie Gibbs, imagining
Michael Jackson returning to the city of his birth dressed in pajamas and shiny
glove “looking like Captain Crunch.” On the way to the SteelYard (what Gibbs calls “this big stupid-ass baseball stadium”)
he tosses pieces of KFC barbeque wings to fans from his limo. Freddie said, “You’d have thought Jesus had come back” because “Gary doesn’t have enough money for Michael
to sing a note.” Surrounding the car were fans of all ages, including
mobster gangbangers. “I’m seein’ killers cryin,’ Freddie
claims.
Waiting for a haircut from Anna, I checked out
an issue of Reminisce magazine that focused on happy memories of camp. I hated my weeks at Camp Miller in the
Poconos when ten years old. I got sick
and then struggled to compile enough merits to qualify for an award that
required me to swim 25 yards. Nobody
gave me lessons, and I sunk like a rock each time I tried to do it. We had to swim nude, and I recall two women
counselors wandering over to the lake while we were all standing in a line
getting ready to plunge in the water.
Scout camp was even worse and included demeaning hazing rituals by older
kids that included having to strip off old your clothes.
Watched the Blackhawks break a two-game losing
streak and got a weather report from Steve Baskerville of CBS. My favorite weather forecasters are NBC’s
comely pair of Cheryl Scott and Ginger Zee.
Back in the 1970s John Coleman of WLS was the funniest, while WGN’s Tom
Skilling, still on the air, was the most detailed. Radio shock jock Steve Dahl did a great
impression of the man he called “Tom Skillinghead.”
Surely Robert Stone is one of the best writers of individual scenes in all of our literature – think of the scene in A Flag for Sunrise where Tabor shoots his dogs, or in Children of Light where members of a film crew mistake the phrase “Bosch’s Garden” for “Butch’s Garden”, which they speculate is an S&M joint in Los Angeles.
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