No Hard Feelings

“Lord knows they haven't done
Much good for anyone
Kept me afraid and cold
With so much to have and hold”

         Avett Brothers, “No Hard Feelings”

 Avett Brothers

At home during a snow day I watched “May It Last,” an HBO documentary on the Avett Brothers, whose band I saw at the Holiday Star a couple years ago on a bill with the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.  Growing up in Concord, North Carolina, Scott and Seth Avett initially were big Nirvana fans and wanted nothing to do with country music.  Then Scott was exposed to the music of Arthel Lane “Doc” Watson (1923-2012), a native of Deep Gap, North Carolina; he took up the banjo and came to appreciate folk classics.  The seven-member Avett Brothers band combines country and folk with good-time honky tonk and rock and roll. “No Hard Feelings” concludes: 

For life and its loveliness
And all of its ugliness
Good as its been to me
I have no enemies

I hate feuds and vendettas and sincerely believe I have no hard feelings toward people I’ve clashed with, although I can’t say the same for all of them.  A few former IUN colleagues still snub me over my objecting to the patently unfair dismissal of English professor Anne Balay.  It hurts my feelings, but Anne’s continuing friendship is much more important to me.  Presently at Haverford, Anne showed off her favorite student evaluation from last term: “Anne is a lot like Harry Potter in that she rushes into situations with very little forethought and is often needlessly impassioned and heroic, but means well.” Miriam Frank responded: “You do have a bit of the Harry Potter in you. You're great-hearted and ethical and while planning isn't your favorite thing, with every project you've done you have been both heroic and impetuous but also responsible.”

Anne and Avi at 2018 Women's March

I finished “High Noon: The Hollywood Blacklist and the Making of an American Classic.”  According to author Glenn Frankel, “High Plains Drifter” (1973), directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, is a fantasy sequel to “High Noon,” as a mysterious stranger takes revenge on both three killers and the cowardly townsfolk who stood idly by while the sheriff was tortured.  Frankel, in fact, cites Eastwood’s five “Dirty Harry” movies as similar, in terms of Inspector Harry Callahan’s laconic demeanor and alienation from police bureaucracy and its constraints.  Frankel wrote: “Harry’s righteous actions are always portrayed in stark contrast to the cowardly equivocations of his morally corrupt superiors.”   In “Sudden Impact” (1983), Callahan uses the catchphrase “Go ahead, make my day.”

Trump is pressing for a big military parade similar to what the Russians and North Koreans do.  Last year he attended the Bastille Day commemoration in Paris and evidently told a military official, “I want a parade like the one in France.”  He reminds me of Professor Harold Hill as played by Robert Preston in “The Music Man” (1962), a charlatan and con artist out to profit from the gullibility of small town yokels.

At Chesterton YMCA, I had a bridge hand containing 23 high card points, but the dealer on my right, who had 12 high card points, opened one Club.  I doubled and when my partner Dee Van Bebber bid a Heart I jumped to game in four Hearts.  She only had 4 high card points but garnered all but two tricks; we tied for high board with Charlie Halberstadt and Tom Wade, whose bidding sequence was identical to ours.  In the cases where the first bidder passed, other pairs ended up in three No Trump and got set.

 Lou Nimnicht

For a History assignment Meriah Isaza reported on her interaction with bridge player Lou Nimnicht.

      September 17: I met with Lou Nimnicht for breakfast at Toast and Jam in Schererville. He was very nice, and we discussed politics, religion, and basic things about our lives. He talked about his career in pharmaceutical sales and how he started playing bridge in junior college. He has two sons and two granddaughters and said he used to bring the boys to the bridge matches and that they’d be on their best behavior. I learned that his main partner is Steve Watson and that Lou plays several times a week.

     October 2:  In response to questions, Nimnich replied: “I had a pretty good week playing bridge. Steve Watson and I were fifth overall on Monday, both in LaLa land on Tuesday, and were first overall on Wednesday with a 64 percent game. Barb Graegin and I had a 75 percenter on Saturday, one of the best results I have ever recorded. My game prep is simple. Get in the car and drive to the club.  My other interests include my dog, Zeke, reading, movies, too much TV, of course, although I have avoided most network programming for almost 40 years, two beautiful granddaughters, Lyla, 3 and Violet, 1 and sports stuff, especially college hoops. Steve and I are going to Fort Wayne for 5 days.”

      I responded: Thank for getting back to me. What's a good percentage game?  I love your game prep.  We talked at breakfast about how laid back you are. I'm sure there's people who stress out over bridge. Have you come across people who take it too seriously?  What kind of dog do you have? I have a German shepherd, he's 1 and is getting into his "How far can I push mom?" phase.  My husband and I got rid of cable, so we watch series that are already over. Our latest binge is “The Sopranos.”  What books are you reading?  Do you plan on teaching your granddaughters cards?  Good luck on your game today. Once I have a Cub Scouts free Saturday, I hope to go watch.

      October 10: Lou wrote, “Back from Fort Wayne after playing two sessions a day for four days. Steve Watson and I enjoyed some modest success, earning about 20 master points for the week. Interesting that you would ask about level of seriousness because he and I are polar opposites. Steve will sometimes sit for two or more minutes before making a play.   Believe me, it seems like 10. I rarely take more than two seconds to make a decision. Most of us would consider 60% or better a really good game. In a given year I probably average 3 or 4 seventy percent games. The 75 that Barb and I hit last week will get us mentioned in the ACBL Bulletin.  Zeke is a Maltese, bichon frise mix, all white, weighing in at all of 11 pounds. He is two and a half and quite active. I read mostly history and novels. Just finished John Grisham's latest and I am now reading a Michael Connelly novel and a history of Arab people. I will miss this Saturday in Gary to attend my niece's wedding in Evansville, but should play in most of the Saturday games for the rest of the year.”

Dan Spain, Steve Watson, Norm Szewczyk, Lou Nimnicht

      October 23:  Lou wrote: “Steve and I played all three days at our Highland sectional. We were first overall in one of the four-pair events and started the team game well, but sucked the last two rounds. In answer to your question, I got into pharmaceutical sales by default. I majored in journalism for a semester and engineering for a semester and after getting drafted and doing the Army thing, earned a business degree from IU. I am naturally pretty introverted, so doing a career in sales is pretty funny.”

photos by Meriah Isaza

      October 28: I was able to make a bridge match in Gary. The room was quiet for the most part. Everyone asked why I was there and how I knew Lou. There were 12 tables set up and two people would switch every few hands. Most couples were into their game, but there were two ladies who seemed to be having fun, bantering back and forth and poking fun at my host.  Lou mentioned that I could sit with other teams, but I didn’t want to break anyone’s concentration.  Before I left, I asked if Lou’s parents played cards. His dad played gin rummy, but his mom wasn’t much of a card player. I am glad that I was able to watch the match, even though it was a little drawn out and too serious for my taste.

Rick Friedman (left) with Ed Hollander

In the introduction to her History paper Madelynn Kurgan wrote that the purpose of the assignment was to use oral history as a resource to get better acquainted with a bridge player.  She wrote: “I was given the chance to build a relationship as pen pals with Eric Friedman. Here are his responses to my emails.”

      October 22: Got your email while watching the Bear's game. Aside from playing bridge, I'm a huge sports fan. By the way, I'm a doctor and I hate being called "Mister."  Please call me Rick, the name I go by to all my friends. I'll answer any questions you may have. Good luck in your course. It sounds like a blast.

      October 23: Just sitting here enjoying the rain (not) and reading emails and texts. I have to sort through a lot of junk, so I am not that good at answering messages but I will try to spot yours. To answer your questions, I am an ophthalmologist but retired recently. I learned to play bridge in medical school. It was not a required course. Four of us actually took a night course at a nearby high school and learned enough to play. Then for the next 40 years I didn't play due to time constraints of a busy practice and the fact that my wife didn't play cards. Only after retirement did I have enough free time to play. I considered myself an athlete, frequently playing golf, tennis, racquetball, and even joining softball leagues in Valpo.  My bad back has limited sporting endeavors and turned me back to bridge. I hope this rambling rant helps you. Feel free to ask more pointed questions. Want to help as much as possible.

      October 27: In response to your question about my practice, I'll start with a case that happened 10 or 15 years ago, but I still can't get it out of my mind (for better or for worse). A friend of mine, also an ophthalmologist, was going out of town for the weekend and asked me to look in on a patient he had in the hospital. The patient was about 55 years old and had recently been to a dentist for a tooth extraction and got an abscess of the socket. He was also complaining of blurred vision. My friend told me all was well and to just look in and say hello! Well, I got there at night after a busy day. I took one look and diagnosed a life-threatening condition (a blood clot, probably septic, around the brain).  I was able to get the man taken by helicopter to Northwestern Hospital, where after 2 months of intensive treatment he somehow survived. I thought he was going to die when I saw him. Well, of course, I was sued along with every doctor whose name was on the chart. And, believe it or not, that patient comes walking into my office 4 months later and wants me to see him. I had to tell him that, due to the lawsuit, I could not accept him as a patient. Then he said that he told his lawyer to dismiss me from the lawsuit because the doctors at Northwestern told him that I had saved his life. Can you believe it? Well, now that I got that off my chest, I'll talk about bridge a little.  My dad didn't like cards. My mother was the bridge player in the family. Unfortunately, she died before I played duplicate bridge. When I got my first Master Points, I'm sure she was smiling down from heaven.

November 4: Hey Maddy, we are in New York for a wedding on Saturday and then a 70th birthday party on Sunday. I've been rather busy lately doing what I'm not sure.  I have a 31-year-old daughter who is a Purdue grad and works for Microsoft.  At Valparaiso High School, she competed in gymnastics until two degenerated disks in her back ended her career. I tried to tell her to find a sport you can do for life, such as golf, tennis or swimming, but she loved gymnastics and now it's too late. She is always doing fitness stuff, and she has run several marathons but doesn't play bridge - just Uno. My wife has a Master's degree from Valpo University and worked as a therapist but is now retired.

      November 10:  Dear Maddy, I can tell from the way you write emails that you have command of the English language and are an intelligent person. My family is Jewish, and we traditionally have a high regard for education. My mother even attended St. Johns in New York, graduating around 1944, and she had 3 sisters who all were college grads. My dad was drafted during World War II, then got married and had a family to support, so he never had a chance to go, but he was a voracious reader.  His older brother was a lawyer!  My dad started his own business but always wanted me to be a professional person rather than a businessman. He felt business was somehow tawdry and dirty. Little did we realize that even medicine is a business. Well, you just do your work and study occasionally and college will be a breeze. The hard part comes after you graduate.

      November 23: Hi Maddy, Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you are enjoying this holiday with loved ones. My daughter and her boyfriend are at our house for the big meal. Last night we did the Valpo craft-beer crawl. Lots of fun and lots of good beer. Today is football, champagne, and turkey.  Last week one of your classmates came to the Banta Center to take pictures and watch the "exciting bridge action."  You are invited anytime if you care to attend. Well, back to the eating and drinking!!!

      December 2: Maddy: it has been my pleasure getting to know you! If there anything else you need to complete your project, please let me know. Good luck in all future endeavors, I’m sure you will complete the term and do just fine!

Over the few weeks I corresponded with Dr. Rick Friedman, I truly had a great time and feel as though I got to know him pretty well in a short time. He allowed me to take a glimpse into his life and his history with other family members. It was a great opportunity to test out my people skills and actually enjoy getting to know a total stranger!